Today is my daughter’s annual case conference. So with utter sarcasm I say to you… I am so excited.
Actually, this year will be a little different. I did the unthinkable last month and discussed getting rid of my daughter’s IEP with her principal.
She is in middle school this year and has Down syndrome and I’m happy to say that she has had a stellar year. But as my thoughts about special education continue to be fine tuned, I’m not sure that her IEP has much to do with her success.
Personally, I am tired of IEPs and case conferences (CC) and all the attention placed on my daughter simply because she has Down syndrome. So I decided – what would happen if I didn’t renew the contract this year?
Think about it. Case conferences by default tell the school and the parents that no one trusts each other to do the right thing. From minute one, you have formed sides. Family sits on one side – school officials on the other. And the more I thought about all this posturing, I couldn’t help but think that IEP’s and CC’s were designed with worst case scenarios in mind.
And before you say it, let me assure you that I understand the benefits of legal protection. I’m just questioning if it’s worth it? If it doesn’t cause more problems than it solves?
When I expressed my concerns and intentions with a friend who is an elementary school counselor, she looked at me stunned. She said to me, “Val, this protects your daughter. It ensures that she gets what she needs – especially during times of budget cuts.”
I confided in her that I don’t believe anyone reads the IEP – they may peruse it, but no one reads it. I went on to tell her that I think the best way to ensure that your child gets the supports they need is to have a good relationship with the school and their teachers. The IEP, by nature, puts this relationship in jeopardy.
As I spoke these truths, I noticed her eyes start to sparkle. I could just see her mind start to process what I was saying. A world where the default for schools would no longer involve bureaucratic processes which dehumanize us all and pull much needed financial resources away from the actual education of students.
Just imagine if you no longer had to do any of this stuff?
Today – it may be a reality for my daughter. I’ll let you know how it goes.
Becky Beaubien
April 6, 2011 at 7:24 amGood luck! I would love for this to be a realistic pssibikty for us someday too. I give thanks for people like you willing to step out of the comfort zone and attempt a change…a great change that could make it better for all of us someday. Thank you.
Valerie Strohl
April 6, 2011 at 7:57 amThanks Becky. Honestly, I think this will just be putting it out there for the first time. But it’s out there now and I think it will gain traction. I’ll let you know how it goes.
Alicia
April 6, 2011 at 10:00 amI kind of understand what you’re saying; my daughter has Down syndrome as well, and I have anxiety attacks in public, I feel very uncomfortable in the meetings. Of course I want her to have the best school experience possible, but one has to wonder if some of that is just busywork and excess paperwork. As you said, does anyone even read the IEPs? Having said that, I do think my daughter’s teachers are wonderful with her, I so appreciate them and their hard work, I just could do without the added stress of panic attacks and clautrophobia and meetings. I can’t even concentrate on what they’re saying about Holly, as I’m just focused on the anxiety of even being there.
Valerie Strohl
April 6, 2011 at 1:12 pmI agree with you. It’s not the outcome that is problematic as much as the process. Honestly, I believe that most schools have great intentions, and I am hard pressed to find parents which don’t like their school. They are out there – but I feel (and my comments reflect this too) that they are the exception. Today – I may walk out of that room with an IEP – most likely actually. But – I don’t believe that IEP’s are responsible for the good care our kids get. I believe a good relationship with the school is what matters, and with a 12 year old – my experience has mirrored this thought process.
Mark
April 6, 2011 at 12:10 pmI feel I must disagree. Not to sound overly militant, but we DO push for IEP’s and every resource we can get our hands on for our autistic son. But in our case, we feel he absolutely needs the resources requested, such as an aide everyday, to keep him focused. We do, however, have a GREAT relationship with the school and both sets of parties involved look forward to the IEP because after each one we all KNOW what is expected of each other. If we make things easy and understandable for the school staff, they make things easy for us to work with Adam and his schoolwork.
Valerie Strohl
April 6, 2011 at 1:21 pmMark – thanks for your input and I am happy that you are pleased with your school. I think we all need to support every parent’s decision to do what they feel is best for their child – so I support your position. I agree fully that both sides need to know the expectations.
My intentions are always to get people thinking – not tell them what to do. Sometimes I’m sure I cross that line – but I try very hard not to. I guess this would be my question to you. Do you think you would receive the same quality of services if you didn’t have an IEP? Could you all sit around a table and discuss your son’s needs and feel comfortable that the school would honor this?
For some people it would be a resounding “NO” and rightly so. Today, I guess I am going to find out for myself. Thanks so much for commenting and you did not seem militant. Just a dad that loves his kid more than anything. I wish you all the best!
Mark
April 6, 2011 at 1:28 pmThanks, Valerie.
Just one answer to one of your questions. Not that the school would be trying to be mean or evil, but if our school wasn’t contractually forced to supply an aide, or whatever else we’d specify in the IEP, it wouldn’t be supplied. As it is with many school budgets nowadays, if a school can reduce costs by employing as few aides as they can, they will. We assume the worst and hope for the best.
Valerie Strohl
April 6, 2011 at 1:55 pmGood point. My daughter has never had her own aide, but we were ok with that – her needs didn’t demand it. That is why it is important that we support individual’s needs. Your son and my daughter have different needs and our plans reflect this. Kuddos on getting your own aide!
Mary E. Ulrich
April 6, 2011 at 8:37 pmHI VAl,
This is an important topic. How wonderful that you are having a GREAT year. That is indeed something to celebrate.
I understand not wanting to go to another IEP meeting–believe me. But I agree with the other parents that it is still necessary. You want the legal protection and you want the school district to be able to get special education funding. No IEP–no funding.
There are ways to make the IEP meeting simplier.
*Only 4 people have to be there: parent, sped teacher, general educ. teacher and administrator (child if over 14). Getting rid of everyone else makes things friendlier.
* Do a draft IEP. If everything is worked out ahead of time, you only need the signatures(think of closing on a house).
*Then it can be a lovefest–your child is awesome, you are great teacher, you are great parent….
I’ve had IEP meetings take 6 days with 20 people and I’ve had IEP meetings take 10 minutes with 4 people (and brownies). The brownie meetings are better.
Valerie Strohl
April 7, 2011 at 10:29 amThanks Mary for your input! Couldn’t agree more with what you are saying – and actually – this time I brought chocolate covered strawberries – big hit! I also walked out of the room with an IEP, since as you stated – no IEP – no money – no services. But here is my gripe. Could all of this be accomplished without the stress that comes from this being such a convoluted process?
We have unfortunately wound up special education into so much bureaucracy and emotion, that it becomes this big issue for schools and parents. Parents get emotional – schools get afraid – and what I find from most of my readers is that in the end – it’s never all that bad. Our expectations are simply not realized and what we have is a whole lot of worrying for very little reason.
I understand that there are exceptions – but that’s what they are – exceptions. So our response is to design all of our programs and processes based on those bad exceptions? Everything my daughter receives at school could simply be decided in the principals office in a nice conversation.
If we want schools and society to quit making such a big deal about all this – don’t we have to lead the charge? I read blog after blog reciting the common theme of how bad CC’s are – and they are scaring the parents out of their minds.
We have created a monster – in the system and with the people because we promote a lack of trust in the process we are forced to participate in. So yes – I understand the importance legally – but it is unfortunate that the disability community cannot break away from the clasp of government control, because it is when we can do this that finally people will treat us equally.
Michelle
April 8, 2011 at 1:07 amRemember – if you don’t like it – then don’t sign it. They freak when that happens. Nothing happen w/o a signed IEP.
Valerie Strohl
April 8, 2011 at 6:30 amMichelle – make sure you read today’s blog because you will see that I had to take it if I wanted any kind of services. I could have not signed it, but honestly, I don’t have a problem with the school but the process. With budgets being slashed, I know they need the funds to ensure my daughter’s needs. But like I said, if you read today’s blog, you will see why I have a problem with all of this. Thanks for your comment!